I think I have this right. I am sure somebody will correct me if I do not.
The republicans in congress understand that the debt of the United States is guaranteed under the 14h Amendment of the Constitution. They also understand that the debt ceiling needs to be raised to ensure that debts already incurred by the federal government are paid, just as is required under the Constitution. In order to ensure that the debts are paid, however, they are demanding that future spending be cut, but only from programs they do not like, such as Medicaid, Medicare, Social Security, and the Internal Revenue Service, the first three of which protect seniors and the least fortunate among us, whom the GOP apparently do not care much about, and the last of which ensures that everyone pays their fair share, especially those who earn the most, which they certainly do not want any part of.
They somehow think banks, lending institutions, investors and the general public will go along with this.
It got me to thinking...
I have a rather large credit card bill coming up. I know the bill has to be paid. After all, it represents debts already incurred, but...
Before I pay this bill, I need to negotiate with those ultimately responsible to pay the bill so as to ensure that I do not continue to incur this much debt or simply to prevent such spending in the future.
Therefore...
I am placing my wife on notice. Before I pay my credit card bill, the two of us need to reach a deal. Going forward, we are no longer going to purchase household cleaning items, plants, flowers and shrubbery for her garden, which she has used the credit card to purchase, or any of the clothes she wants to wear during forthcoming vacations.
We are also not going to purchase new shoes for her or any doohickeys she thinks may either be helpful around the house or beautify it in any way using the credit card.
For good measure and to ensure that our already incurred debts can be paid, our agreement will include a prohibition of purchasing any gas to be put in her car or groceries I do not like, especially those disgusting lemon cookies, or any ingredients used to make avocado toast, which, ought to be classified as a biological weapon of mass destruction and should be outlawed anywhere and everywhere.
Of course, she will agree that the stuff I like is not subject to negotiation, including the sports channels on our cable system, all food items I like, including mushrooms, most seafood, goat cheese and yogurt, all of which make her gag, gas for my car and vacations to places I want to go to, regardless of whether or not she does.
This is all friendly, so we do not need to engage lawyers to draw this up, especially since I am one, and I am not willing to pay for hers.
Once we get all of this agreed to and signed, we can pay the credit card bill, as long as we pay it out of her accounts.
I am sure my wife will agree to this.
I am equally sure the credit card company and our banks will think this is a great idea as well.
