Thank you Mr. President

One of the lasting moments from the Watergate investigation was when Howard Baker asked "What did the President know, and when did he know it?"  Howard Baker was a republican senator from Tennessee.

We now know what cadet bone spurs knew about the nature of the virus and when he knew it.  We also know that he deliberately downplayed the virus for months, allegedly to avoid a panic.

Ok.  He did not want a panic over the virus.

Apparently, he did not want a panic over the lack of testing, the lack of PPP, the lack of a coordinated, let alone a coherent plan of dealing with the virus, creating a vaccine and respect for science and the scientific process either.

So right now: 

1.  I am not panicking over the fact that we are closing in on two hundred thousand dead people and counting, perhaps because I am not one of them, most of them are old or disadvantaged minorities, of whom I am not one.

2.  I am not panicking over the fact that during this summer, when violence is allegedly increasing exponentially on his watch, fanned by his exhorting his supporters to defend their second amendment rights as a way of dealing with the virus, perhaps because I have not been shot -- although there was what appears to be an unrelated shooting that occurred a couple of blocks away about a month ago.

3.  I am not panicking over the fact that I have not worked since March and have no clue present clue if I will ever work again, perhaps because I have been much more fortunate than most and have investments to fall back on -- not to mention state unemployment benefits, if not federal assistance, the lack of which I am sure is what is getting those poor multinational corporations over the top in their time of need.

4.    I am not panicking over sending my children to schools that have been ordered to open without a national coordinated or coherent plan to safeguard the children and the teachers, perhaps because I no longer have school age children and my wife, a lifelong public school teacher is happily retired.

5.  I am not panicking over the fact that while there is still food on the shelves in the stores, there appears to be just a little bit less just about every time I go shopping, perhaps because my wife and I had a nice dinner last night.

No, I am not panicking.

Not a bit.

Thank you Mr. President.

Thank you for keeping us all in the dark, while you knew first what was about to happen and then what was happening while it was happening, but did nothing to stop it other than slapping a travel ban on Chinese citizens.

Thank you for ignoring the fact that the virus was coming into this country from places other than China.

Thank you for letting us know you were blaming China for the entire thing, even after the virus sneaked into this country and you did nothing.

Thank for for not panicking us when the virus did sneak into the country in spite of the fact that you knew it was coming and did nothing to stop it.

Thank you for putting forth that very brave and well made up face every day and setting the example for the rest of us by not wearing a mask, so that your very expensive make up job would not be smeared.  I feel much better knowing you looked better, even if the rest of us were getting sick and dying.

Thank you for making sure the rest of your gang did not let us in on your little secret, lest we all panic.

As for this last one, I am eternally grateful for your sycophants, who can keep a secret, apparently with the best of them.  So....

Thank you to the Vice-President, the head of your coronavirus task force, who has told us over and over again what a great job you are doing, and how you are the best thing to ever happen to the universe.  

Thank you for replacing anyone on the task force who was even temporarily willing to tell the truth with somebody who was only willing to praise you, and had no experience or qualifications to deal with epidemiology.  I for one am happy to hear daily from a radiologist, instead of an epidemiologist or infectious disease specialist.  Facts make me panic.

Thank you to those who know, who know what you knew and when you knew it, but said nothing.  I am particularly grateful to the director of national intelligence, Robert O'Brien, who told you in January what was coming, but never told the rest of us.  It allowed my wife and I to go on a couple of vacations in January and February without panicking.

Thank you for all you red state governors who kept us from panicking by opening up restaurants, bars, gyms, schools, hiding all that panicky public health data, and generally reminding us every day that the guy in the oval office is the greatest human ever born.

I am particularly thankful to Mitch McConnell for not saying anything, and then leaving town without addressing any relief package for the rest of us, thereby sparing me of the job of figuring out how to spend my disaster relief and unemployment checks, thereby ensuring that I do not panic when it comes time to paying my bills.

There are so many more to thank, but not enough space in the universe to do so, so thank you to all cadet bone spurs supporters for letting us know how panicky we would be if only we had something rational in the oval office.

So thank you to everyone for keeping my mind free and clear of anything I cannot handle.

And oh...

Once cadet bone spurs is out of office, whenever that may be, please don't come forward at that time, especially if you hold public office now, to tell me you knew and tried to stop him, because then, if you wanted to spend the rest of your career in your cushy little entitled position, it will be your turn to panic when you see the reaction of the rest of us.