good-bye cruel world...

The cat has apparently been let out of the bag, because I am now hearing from friends and colleagues asking me to confirm one way or another, sooooo....

Yes, it is true.

As of August 1, 2018, I will no longer maintain an active private law practice.  I guess it could be said that I will be retired at that time, other than coming back in either September or October to try one last case I have promised a client I would handle rather than hand the case off to somebody who would spend a week or two reviewing and getting up to speed on, not to mention billing the heck out of just to figure out what I already know.  Other than that and some EBTs (depositions for those who do not practice in New York) that I will cover here and there on a per diem basis, July 31 will be my last day.  The last day I have anything scheduled in court is July 30.  Things are going to seem a bit weird for a little while after that.

Why now?

Well, why not now. 

I am old enough so that I have been doing this for thirty-six years.  Christine has been retired for more than a year now.  Why let her have all the fun?  But why now, especially when my clients still trust me and I think I still have what it takes to be successful in court and in the practice of law?

To make short of it, I am tired. 

I am tired of a lot of things associated with the practice of law, which at least in the area that I specialize in does not, and never has seemed to have much of anything to do with good lawyering in the pursuit of justice, but more to do with winning at all costs.  It burns you out, and fast.  For a while, I thought about writing this essay and talking about what has gone wrong in the practice of law around here, but maybe that one is for another time, probably when I have had some separation from the profession for a bit, which would enable me to write with some clarity of thought and not say something I really do not mean.  I did have a great working title, however, which has been retained above. 

In the mean time, I knew I was done a few months ago when we were on vacation overseas with friends for about two weeks.  It was a great time with great people, great food, great wine and Irish pubs to be found, so how bad could it be?  It should have rejuvenated me to get back to it when we got home; however, less than a day back, sitting at my desk I felt like I had not been away at all.  I could feel the embers of a burnout smoldering within.  If you can be away relaxing for two weeks in Spain and Portugal and come back to immediate burnout, it's time.  Nothing that has happened in the last few months has changed my mind.

It is time, soooooo...

While I still have the energy, some relative youth left, or at least what you can have in relative youth once you hit your sixties, while I still have my health, while I still have the love and companionship of a wife I absolutely love and adore, and while I have at least some means to do so, I want to travel.  I want to see things.  I want to be inspired, something the practice of law, especially in New York has not done for me.

I will spend some time decompressing from the past thirty-six years or so.  During that time, maybe lightning will strike and I will figure out what to do for the next thirty-six years.  Don't laugh.  My grandmother made it thirty-six years beyond how old I am now, and when she died, she still had all her marbles.

Maybe I will copy my brother and do some painting.  Maybe I will buy a kiln and try pottery.  Somewhere deep inside, and I mean really deep inside, there has to be at least an inkling of artistic creativity hidden for the past sixty plus years just dying to get out.

Maybe I will fool the world and show you all I really can cook, and cook something that does not always end up tasting like chili.

Maybe I will keep writing down my thoughts here, but perhaps a bit more frequently now that I will have more time to do so.  Maybe a book.  "White Fluffy Duckies -- The Novel".  One man's quest to be as longwinded and obscure as....  well, as an attorney can be.

Maybe I will spend a lot of time sitting on the porch and staring at that gorgeous Wyoming sky, the mountains and the horses in the pasture out back.

And Maybe I will end up putting on a colorful smock and stupid looking hat, and spend my days asking that time honored question, "fries with that?"...

But what I will definitely do is try to make up the time being a practicing attorney, even one who has practiced out of his house has taken from my wife and my sons.  I will be with them, and not just as a body that happens to be under the same roof.  They will get to see the person I wanted to be, for them and for myself, but foolishly did not have the time for thinking that I needed to get something done for somebody else who in the long run did not really care about what I was doing as long as I won.  I owe that to my family, even if Jeremy and Jon are now grown and live in other states.

And maybe that will be the inspiration I have been looking for.

I am sure I will see or hear from many of you in the next few weeks and well beyond.  In the mean time, I wish you all the peace, happiness and inspiration you seek.